I bet so many people have been waiting for this so. But this one is a bit nastier!

It has some adult material (Not graphical, just some adult references). So this is just a warning عشان محد يقول ما قلت

Anyway, here we go:

Held against you!

No, I’m not talking about Britney Spears song. Its a scenario that really happened and I was inspired by a drunk guy who got held by an officer.

Friend (A girl): Yes, as a punishment
Me: Well, at least its not something to be held against you legally and for future references… Unless they’re boobs… I definitely want them to be held against me legally and for future references
*Friend facepalms*

 

You expire in December?

*Passing by a security gate at work*
Security guard: Can I see your ID please?
*Pull out my card*
Security guard: Your name is #### #### #### #### and you expire in December 2016?
*Taking my credit card back and pulling out my ID*

I cannot express how weird the pokerfaces we pulled. What made it worse is that the guy knows me.

 

I’m coiny and I know it

Dragos: I got coins in my pocket—
Me interrupting: And I’m not afraid to show them! Show them! Show them! I’m coiny and I know it!!

 

April:

If April fool. Does that mean teenage mutant ninja turtles smart?

 

Plastic surgeon:

Me: Did you see my last shots?
Friend: Oh yeah I saw your links in titter
Me: You know that titter sounds like a tits making machine, right? That, or plastic surgeon
Friend: I kinda saw that coming…

Hey, in my defense, ….
…
…
…
Never mind, I can be a perv sometimes…

 

اشوفك صاير غبي!

Khalid is an Egyptian (صعيدي) guy who’s, well, we consider him as a part of our family. So it goes like this:
Dad: خالد تعال تغدا معاي
Khalid: معلش يابو عبدالله اصلي متفطر فول عالصبح
Dad: اشوفك صاير غبي اليوم!

 

My name is Dherar

Friend: Go back to school!
Me: There are only three universities in Kuwait that do computer engineering: Kuwait University, AUM and AUK. AUK costs ~600KD per 3 credits. My name is Dherar ALRashoud, not Dherar Scroog McDuck!
Friend: It makes me sad that I know what you mean by Scroog McDuck… I’m getting old…

 

TO THE STRIPCLUB!!

Me: BRB, going to the strip club
Friend: You mean servers room, right?
Me: Yeah, how did you know?
Friend: I guess…
Me: Damn! You just know me too well…

 

Winnie the pooh logic

Friend: So you’re scooping bare handed from that huge Nutella jar!? Thats gross!!
Me: Winnie The Pooh scoops honey bare handed straight from the jar. It’s only logical to scoop bare handed straight from a huge jar when given one.
Friend: Winnie The Pooh isn’t real!
Me: YOU’RE NOT REAL!!

 

KADABRAAAAA!!

*Walking around licking a spoonful of Nutella*
Brother: What are you doing!?
*Staring at him*
Me: KADABRAAAAAAAA!!!
Brother: Walk away!!

 

Me in philosophy mode:

انا اشك.
اذا، انا ابرة

 

 

OK, I ran out of scenarios… Or at least can’t think anything more at the moment… Hope you enjoyed them :3