Yes, took my sweet, sweet time to post this, but I got occupied with many things in my life. Sorry, so here we go.
The reason we decided to go to Norway was obvious: Northern lights.
I’ve seen it before, but my friend didn’t (And I wanted to see it again… And AGAIN AND AGAIN!! I CAN NEVER GET BORED OF IT!!)
So, we first went to Tromsø where we took a tour-bus to see the northern lights. Our timing wasn’t right so it wasn’t really intensive. But interesting nevertheless.
Actually, I know few friends who used it as their phone background and lock screen. Try it out, it’ll look interesting.
Nothing to do in Tromsø other than eating in some restaurants (Try their fish, it’s EPIC!).
We went to Oslo to visit a friend of mine. Well, he’s a friend of a family member which I encountered in Oslo last year by coincidence and I vowed to pass by Oslo every time I set a foot in Europe.
Anyway, there wasn’t much to do in Oslo other than shopping, hitting museums, and eating. But here where it gets interesting: Amazing people with my coffee\sugar intake 😛
Here are some conversations that happened:
Hard Rock Cafe
Yes, you’d say “Why did I bother go there?”. And I’ll reply “Because I got high, because I got high, because I got hiiiiiigh”… No really, it wasn’t bad at all!
Me: Can I have some coffee please?
Waitress: Sure, anything else?
Me: Please, bring a lot of sugar. And I mean, A LOT
*Waitress raising an eyebrow*
Waitress: Sure. Just wait for a bit
Waitress: Here you go
*Me seeing a small bowl of tiny sugar cubes*
*Me dumping the whole bowl in my coffee*
Waitress: *GASP* Why would you do that!?
Me: I love sugar a bit too much
Friend: Yeah, you should see what he did in Stockholm
*Telling her Stockholm stories and showing her the standing spoon picture*
Waitress: How do you drink that!?
Me: I simply like sugar and coffee… A LOT!
Waitress: I mean… How?… That’s gross!!
Friend: YES!!! JUSTICE!!! FINALLY!! THANK YOU!!
Now, stories from a sports pub in Oslo
Just as an explanation, I’ll refer to my friend in Oslo as (Oslo), The Scottish man as (Scot), and The Irish man as (Irish)
WE SAY ARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!
Scot: You know, the Scottish English is more closer to the Perfect English than Brits.
Me: Oh? How’s that?
Scot: WE PRONOUNCE EVERY FUCKING LETTER!!! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! WE SAY ARRRRRRRRRRR!!! NOT LIKE BRITS; AUUUUUUUUGH AUUUUUUUGH!!
Me: Oh yeah, come to think about it, my dad does the same.
Scot: YOUR FATHER IS A FUCKING SCOTTISH IN DENIAL!!
Scot: You HAVE to go to Glasgow one day
Me: I don’t know. I mean, after seeing women in here, I’m not sure.
Scot: Oh yes, our women are as manly as my father. THEY FUCKING KICK YOUR ASS, YOU DON’T MESS WITH THEM!!
DANCE WITH ME
Scot is shooting and missing, so Irish is trying to show him how to stand up and shoot the darts
Irish: Look, you drunk old man, you do this!
*Grabbing his arm and waving with him*
Irish: You have to stand still and only move your fucking arm!
Scot: HEY LOOK AT US, AN SCOTTISH AND AN IRISH MAN DANCING TOGETHER!!
Irish: No, I’m teaching you how to throw the darts!
Scot: We look like a fucking gay couple!
Irish: I don’t care what people think, I got you.
*A moment of silent*
*Tears of laughter*
Scot: I think I’ll just throw it my way
Irish: Good call
OK, our friend is really good at darts. So we gave him so many disabilities (Like, shooting with his left arm, going further, closing his right eye, and must lift a feet off the ground). Yet, he was beating us. Until Ted won with a lucky shot
Scot: I FUCKING BEAT YOU, HOT SHOT
Oslo: Yes yes, you did.
Scot: OOOOH MISTER HOT SHOT LOST *Doing some taunting moves*
Oslo: Wanna try another game?
Scot: NO! I FUCKING QUIT! I WILL NEVER PLAY THIS GAME, EVER!!
Scot: HEY LOOK AT ME, I’M SCOTTISH MAN DRINKING WATER!!
Me: Surprising your stomach for a change?
Scot: FUCKING YES!!
We got pulled over by police in Oslo suspecting us for “Tagging”.
Here’s the conversation:
Officer: Gentlemen can you stop for a moment please?
Me: OH COOL! POLICE IN OSLO!!
Me: I’ve been here twice in two years, this is the FIRST time I see a police officer. I even wondered if you ever exist!
Officer: Oh…kaaaaaay… Can I please know what were you doing in the last, maybe half an hour?
Me: We were in a pub near by visiting a friend. *Showing him the location on my phone*
Officer: And where are you going?
Me: Back to our hotel. It’s really close by. *Showing him the location in my phone*
Officer: I see. Because we got reports of tagging and the description matches you. Were you tagging?
Me: Tagging? I’m sorry officer, but what do you mean by tagging?
Officer: You don’t know what tagging is? Alright, were you, in any way, involved in graffiti?
Me: Well, no, but we passed under this bridge, saw some amazing art work that I found them really interesting and took pictures of them. Here, let me show you.
Here’s what he saw:
*Flipping pictures through the phone and showing him these pictures*
*Then, this picture appeared:
(Yes, I forgot that I clicked this picture… And no, I don’t look like a nyancat)
Officer: Alright, THAT picture is interesting.
Me: Well, I was bored and… Couldn’t help but do this.
Officer: Hahahaha. Alright, can I see some IDs and check you up while the other officer reports to the station and wait for clearance?
Me: Oh please, by all means
*I was checked and tapped by a female blond officer, my friend got checked by a guy*
Officer: Alright, while we’re waiting here, tell me, you’re from Kuwait, why are you here?
Me: We’ve been to Tromsø for the northern lights and we figured we might as well visit a friend here.
Officer: I bet it’s hot in Kuwait
Me: Reached 58 Celsius and I’m sure there were some kids playing soccer bare feet on the street!
Officer: That’s hell! Well any way, this area yo live in have the crime rate raised
Me: Wait, there’s crimes in Oslo!? SINCE WHEN!?
Me: Yes! I’ve been here last year and I’ve been wandering around till 2AM feeling safe
Officer: Well, it is safe. But this area is a tad sketchy. Just be careful
Me: Sure. Thank you officer.
Officer: Alright, we got the clearance. Please, have a good stay and be careful
Me: Have a good day officer.
*A little after they left*
Me: Yo dude, guess what?
Me: SHE TOUCHED MY TRALALAAAAAA! HMMMMMMMM MY DINGDINGDOOONG (Warning: NSFW)
Friend: Hard time keeping it inside you till this moment?
Me: You have no idea…
Friend: Good thing you did, I don’t want to put in a cell with you because of your stupidity!
Tagging means having a graffiti signature on the wall, taking a picture of it and run away. Apparently it’s a raising issue in Oslo according to my friend who explained the whole thing.
So now we’re bad guys in Oslo 😛
Check out the next post about Reykjavik (Iceland)