This is more of a personal post than a geeky post (Since tech news are being boring, I’m losing interest in AnonKuwait and I sort of miss writing here :P).

Anyway, for those who know me personally, they know how not to mess with me because I troll hard… For those who don’t, well, I’m just bad 😛

I keep on tweeting some stuff I encounter with friends, alone, strangers or family members. Moments of win and moments of being owned. They’re so many so I’m just going to list what I remember 😛

Don’t be a baby!

I had a high fever and my friend dragged me to a hospital. Nurse wants to give me a injection.
I’m not afraid of injections, I just hate them! So I’ve been giving the poor nurse hard time.
Me: Electrify me, hang me, ANYTHING! Just don’t do needles!
Nurse: Oh don’t be a baby!
Me: I’m not a baby! I’M A BIG BABY!!
*Nurse almost missed the shot and my friend abandoned me*

Computer

Mom: ضرار، منو اعز الناس لك؟ Dherar, Who’s the dearest person to you?
*Ofcourse, she’s expecting me saying her*
Me: الكمبيوتر The computer!
*Throws whatever she has in hands… And it was heavy and painful*

I didn’t pay for that

Pickles and mustard makes my stomach acts up. So I make sure there’s none in my sammiches.
I ordered from McDonald’s with my friend, picked up our tray and sat on whatever table.
Dragos: Dude, your burger has pickles in it!
Me: Pffft, I didn’t pay for that! FREE PICKLES!!

Just checking

(To know that it passes down from one generation to another)
*Dad in a hospital room puffing a smoke with “NO SMOKING” sign right above his head*
*Doctor walks in*
Doctor: حجي مايصير ممنوع التدخين بالمستشفى! ماشفت ممنوع التدخين فوقك؟ Sir, you can’t smoke in the hospital! Didn’t you see the “NO SMOKING” sign above your head?
Dad: هذي؟ حاطينها حق اللي كان هني ونسوا يشيلونها This? They put it here for the previous patient and they forgot to remove it.
*Doctor stares and walks away*

When I think philosophy

Me: يبا ، أبيك تفهمني شغله Dad, explain this to me
Dad: خير؟ Whats up?
Me: جمبازي يايه من جمباز، صح؟ Jumbazi came from Jumbaz, right?
Dad: إي؟ Yes?
Me: كلكجي يايه من كلك، صح؟ Kalakchi came from Kalak, right?
Dad: انزين شاللي تبي توصل له؟ OK? What are you getting at?
Me: عفلنقي منين يت؟ أكو رياضة اسمها عفلنق مثلا؟ Where did 3eflangi come from? Is there a sport called 3eflang or something?
*Dad shooing me swinging his cane*

Gymnastic

Dad: انطر علي شوي اخلص اللي بايدي وانزل معاك Hold on lemme just finish what I have in hands
Me: يلا بلا جمناستك خلصني Enough Gymnastic, come on!
Dad: شنو؟ What?
Me: جمناستك … جمبزة … Gymnastic… Jambuza…
Dad: أطلع بره Get out!!

*Jambuza is some sort of an old word that refers to a foxy person I guess*

Come in

(My favorite and happens so often)
*Me in a restroom answering nature’s call*
*Someone knocks on the door*
Me: تفضل Come in
Someone: شنو؟ What?
Me: تفضل طاق علي الباب … حياك You knocked on the door, come on in!

Motherboard

Dad: شوفلي هلبمذربورد تسوى ولا لأ Check if this motherboard worth getting or not
Me: هالماما لوحة ماتسوى This Mama Board ain’t worth it
Dad: أطلع بره Get out!

Ants > Roaches:

Niece: أنا بسمّيك زهيوي I’ll call you a roach!
Me: أنا بسمّيج زهيوي I’ll call you an ant!
Niece: نملة أحسن من زهيوي Ant is better than a roach!
Me: ليش؟ How?
Niece: لما الزهيوي يموت ، النمل ياكله When a roach dies, ants eat it