Team Fortress 2 Review

Again, I’m not supposed to do such thing… But I have to…

I don’t play much online video games neither video games (though I used to play video games like crazy)… But I’ve been wasting my life playing only one game, Counter-Strike: Source… Not because its the best game (duuuh its not)… Its just because I bought it looooong time ago and felt like playing to make use of the 20KDs I spent at Virgin Mega Store (Back when it was Mega)…

My friend “eLeeT” usually annoys by telling me how Team Fortress 2 is awesome and fun. I know for a fact it is a fun game but I was giving the “meh” attitude since I’m more into Counter-Strike: Source’s seriousity…

So I’ve downloaded the trailers… And met almost every class in the game (As in the characters you choose… Videos made by the team) and got abit of more interested…

Then again I felt like trying EVE ONLINE and it was fun so I decided to actually start playing EVE… Got little extra cash and thought of wasting’em… So “eLeeT” suggested again that I should buy Team Fortress 2 because its only $19.99… So what the hell… I did…

Here’s the thing, I DID NEVER LAUGH AT AN ONLINE GAME AS MUCH AS THIS GAME MADE ME LAUGH!!!

The game is based on having fun to play with the cartoonish design and all while drawing a big fat stupid smile on your face instead of burning and sitting on your nerves just because someone stabbed you with a knife in Counter-Strike: Source…

Anyways, the game is about 2 teams; Red vs Blue (The endless battle)… Players can choose one of the following classes: Pyro, Engineer, Sniper, Spy, Heavy, Demoman, Medic, Scout and Soldier (in order according to the picture above)…

Pyro:
He (I assume Pyro is a He) never talk because he’s wearing a gas mask… But you can hear an similar cry to “MEDIC” when he cries for a medic… That bastard is biiiig jerk in close range combat because if he got you in a corner, you’re a goner… Weak in long range… Has a Flame Thrower, a Shot Gun and a Fire-Fighter Axe… He has a taunt which he throws a Fire Hadoken with instant kill if it get ya! GOD I LOVE THIS BASTARD!!! HE’S SO ABUSIVE!!!

Engineer:
He builds Sentry Guns, Despensers (Where you recharge your health and other stuff) and Teleports… His Sentry guns are in 3 levels, you upgrade’em by beating the crap outta that sentry gun with his wrench… So does fixing it… His weapons are a Shot Gun, Hand Gun, a Wrench, Building Box, and a Remote Thingy that blows whatever he built… Just place a Sentry Gun in a good location, Teleports to fasten the process of respawning and a Despenser to refill whenever you need health and ammo… AND BEWARE OF HIS WRENCH… ITS A KILLER!!!

Sniper:
That British bastard is a butt-kicker in long range and kinda sucks in close range… His critical shot is when you zoom in and wait till the shazam thingy on the scope tops up… Instant kill… Though headshots are killers too (But Heavy won’t die from a normal headshot… I assume his brain is so small because his skull is SO DAMN THICK!)… The thing I love in this guy is when you actually shoot someone (Even if you’re lagging), the game takes your shot not the oponent’s dodge… I always turn to this guy whenever I need to pick some heads from far distance…

Spy:
He’s also British… He has the ability to cloak himself so no one could see him… He has the ability to actually disguise himself as one of the opponents (Funny thing I once saw a teammate holding my NAME… I got freeked out for a minute then I realized he’s hittable… A SPY)… And the thing that cracked my jaw laughing was when your spy disguise as an opponent, you can see a paper mask on the spy’s face with the class he’s disguising as… He has a revolver, butterfly knife and a disguising pack… I HATE HIM WITH PASSION!!!

Heavy:
He has russian accent (I assume)… A giant big huge pieces of of muscles and bones stitched together which made this guy… His Sasha (His BFG… Big Fu***** Gun) shoots 300 rounds, A shot gun and his Fists… You cant damage him as fast as others… He’s slow like a snail… Funny like crazy (Specially when Pyro burns him… He yells like “MY FLESH!!! IT BURNS!!!”) and his gun is so abusive that its fun when you play being Heavy in small maps…

Demoman:
A Black Scotish who’s really abusive in bombs…You can set traps by launching his secondary weapon that shoots sticky bombs… His weapons are Bomb Launcher (Or Grenade Launcher), Sticky Bomb Launcher and that big bottle of alcohol… I laugh whenever he kills someone and yells “Ooooh they have to glue you back together, IN HELL!!”… I hate it when someone actually picks him and start spamming our respawn spot with sticky and dropping bombs from a window or something…

Medic:
A German medic guy… Who shoots needles and actually takes HP from his opponents while shooting at’em if he hit’em… His other weapon is the Health thingy that I don’t know its name but I’d like to call it “The Uber Thingy”… You can recharge your friends’ health using it… And you can keep on charging that “Uber Charge” till you reach a stage that your health almost doesn’t decrease… His Medical Saw is deadly too… Becareful everyone!!

Scout:
A fast grasshopper with double jumps… He’s affective in short range… His Shot Gun spreads like crazy thats why his Hand Gun picks up the long range combats… His annoying weapon is his Baseball Iron Bat… Specially when he yells the *BOINK* sound… I used to like him, but he sucks… Yet he’s good at capturing points, flags and whatever…

Soldier:
A war maniac!! His Bazooka (Rocket launcher… I like to call it Bazooka… The ol’ Police Academy way) hurts alot but is so slow… So shoot it when your opponent isn’t looking, time it to hit someone or just shoot his ground… He has this jump thingy that makes him jump so high (I still don’t know how to do that)… His reload is annoying, only 4 rockets… His secondary weapon is our beloved Shot Gun… And he hit opponents in real close range with a SHOVEL!!! He takes good damage, he’s fun to play as, but abit of slow…

The reason I reviewed this game is to find a hope in whoever reads this to actually play this game… QualityNet used to have a Team Fortress 2 server that its down because no one plays…

Anywhooooo… Here’s a link to the game.

4 thoughts on “Team Fortress 2 Review

  1. you dont have to say “eleet” .. lose the quotations 😛
    oh and:
    -pyro gets flare gun instead of the shotgun with achievements.. (also gets the other two upgraded)
    -sniper is australian ><
    -medic its called a medigun .. he only gets health witht he syringe gun if your using his blutsuger(his achievment gun)..
    -Heavy heavy has a Sandvich now <3

    go work on your heavy achievments!

  2. i like to use the quotations… its fun… y’know you get used to it when you start programming =P

    and you should’ve wrote the review instead >_<... damnit why do you have an account in here anyways? =P

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