Here’s more:

Slap!

*Me sleeping in my room*
*Little niece comes in, sit on my chest, kiss my cheek then slap it!*
Me: شفيج؟ Whats wrong with you?
Niece: خدك يقزز! Your cheek stings!
*Niece gets off and walks away*

I’m mean!

Me: Dude, you know those huge-ass HP printers?
Friend: Yeah?
Me: You know when you don’t use them for hours and they go on power-saving mode?
Friend: Aha?
Me: Well, I just walked to a printer, pressed a button for it to wake it up and went back to my office just to wake it up
Friend: You’re mean!
Me: I’m mean!

he’s just being me

This convo carried out between me and a friend about her friend who’s a web designer where I wanted her to ask her friend to design me something for this blog. But he’s lazy
Friend: Aah never mind him, he’s being me
Me: You mean horny?
Friend: No, lazy… You ass

Coding Kung fu

Friend: Why?
Me: Some coding kung fu shit
Friend: Oooooooooh
Me: Yes, I have to fight powerful monks to get my code done
*few hours later of coding and\or chatting with her*
Me: Open a new tab and resign in
Friend: I did, nothing… Other tricks?
Me: Nothing that crosses my mind … I’m having hard time fighting these monks damn it… can’t get the code

Sebeecha

OK, Sebeecha is a Kuwaiti female name. It’s an old-school name and it really kicks ass!
Me: I’m sebeecha
Friend: What?
Me: Speechless ~= Sebeecha
Friend: … Bye

Guess where I’m at

Me: Guess where am i
Friend: Where!
Me: Remember the lesbo cafe I told you about?
My friend: Yes?
Me: Well, I’m not there, I’m at work… Just wanted to add some confusion

ALIVE

Waitress: How would you like your stea—
Me: ALIIIIIVE!!!
Waitress: Wh-what!?
Me: Medium-well please
*Later when the waitress brought the steak*
Waitress: Here’s your steak, sir
Me: Is it alive?
Waitress: Yes, very alive

I WIN!!

Me and a friend in Fridays wanted to order food. But we’re arguing who goes first. And the waitress is waiting (Ironic? :P)
Me: I came here first!
Friend: I’m the youngest here!
Me: I’m the elder here!! RESPECT!!
Friend: I’m wearing dishdasha!
Me: I’m wearing a suit!
*Me and my friend staring at each others*
*Me and friend to play scissor-rock-paper to decide who wins*
*Waitress decided to join in*
*I win*